Relationships stale? Discussion stalled? Try asking a question.
Not one that will result in a "yes," "no," "maybe," or "fine," response. But something a little more out there.
Something like, "Dad, if you were really a robot, would you tell me?"
There's nothing like the mind of a seven-year-old boy to spark some authentic conversation.
In this instance, after I assured my son Jonathan that I wasn't a
mechanical creation from the planet Please Eat Your Carrots, we
launched into a spirited dialogue about space ships, tree houses, and
the odds on Mom being the real robot double agent in our home.
His simple eleven-word query jarred me from my usual post-workday
numbness back into the real and now. And it inspires me to ask better
questions of my own.
Open ended questions? Sure. Most of us have been taught that we add
to the quality of our conversation and likely our relationships if we
ask, "What can I do to help you?" instead of simply, "Do you need any
help?"
So open up the ends of your questions, but also don't be afraid to
experiment with the form. Look at Jonathan's question. Closed-ended,
but loaded with unexpected thoughts that led to some great parent-child
chat.
And how about multiple choice or true-false? They worked in high
school geography class and can also be used to keep your work
colleagues, significant other or kids on their toes.
Try this example on your child and see what happens: "When you get
home from school tonight, I'll expect you to a) do the dishes, b) walk
the dog, c) clean your room, d) all of the above?
And should all else fail, ask Jonathan's robot question. But you may want to prepare a follow up in case the answer is, "yes."
